Sep 6, 2019
In a previous episode of The Adverse Effect, Ken talked with Joshua Proby about breaking free of obstacles and negative thinking that keeps us trapped.
Joshua has a unique perspective on this because he served 12 years in prison.
Yet, the startling insight that Joshua shared is: Most people who are in prison aren’t behind physical bars.
Joshua was referring to the mental, physical, and spiritual beliefs and actions that keep us stuck. These are the “invisible prisons” (aka “baggage”) that we don’t see but have an impact on what we believe and how we act. It’s the kind of baggage that makes us afraid to leave a bad relationship or pursue a certain career, or any number of things.
It’s important to remember that how we think can keep us imprisoned or set us free.
Having “free” thoughts takes work., but necessary, if you want to achieve the life of your dreams. As the quote attributed to Albert Einstein says, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
In other words, you can’t reach your dream life while carrying your baggage with you.
To begin releasing that drama, you might consider three
1. Remember. One of the biggest problems with baggage is that we try to hide it. As Joshua commented, this does not work. Eventually, all of us dealing with baggage reach a point where we can’t hide it anymore. Stop hiding it. Find a friend, write about it, visit a therapist. Do whatever you need to do to confront your past.
2. Release Once you’ve confronted your past, it’s time to release its hold on you. Create a ritual to help you, if you need it, for example, if you still have a letter from an ex that was full of drama, shred them. If you have something else that reminds you of the past that you want to let go, let it go.
3. Recycle One of the things about physical and mental trash is that it leaves a residue. Even if you release the past in the physical, you can still be affected. Mentally. That’s why you need to recycle (or reframe) your pain. Instead of focusing on the pain itself, focus on what you learned. Focus on the story that you’re creating. Use those lessons to help someone who may be facing the same thing.
These three-step processes are based on the process Joshua took to break free of the mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional baggage he was carrying since childhood As Joshua shared, he tried to sweep the pain under a rug. He thought by hiding (or running away) from his problems, he could find peace.
By going back to confront the pain of his past, Joshua was able to move forward. He was able to release the hold that his past pain had on him. With that shift in mindset, he was able to find the lessons in that experience. He was able to become a mentor who had real-life advice to other people.
As a result, he became a victor.